In Relationships, it is ok to keep parts of you just for you...It is wonderful to be a mystery on some parts...
:rose:
You never have to a person know everything because in relationships it's a discovery process all the time.
:rose:
Think about this just because your in a relationship and trust me I'm happy for you but who says it will last....
:rose:
I think in a relationship you should still have time to be with friends, family and others. You don't change who you are to be in a relationship, relationships should enhance you not take away....
:rose:
You still need to do things that make you happy and he should as well. To much time together sometimes can make one sick of the other. You shouldn't spend every waking hour together. Well in my opinion when would you get the chance to miss one another......
:rose:
A relationship you shouldn't feel like someone owns you or an object.....
:rose:
Relationships are a give and give thing, and it's a take and take thing. Because you give something and take something from each individual to grow as one on both sides.
:rose:
Relationships can be complex but only as much as the other makes it that way. Then again some like to say it's like a roller coaster because there will always be ups and downs but the downs should nunca out weigh the ups.
:rose:
I hope this helps a little!
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nothing. absolutely nothing. the right relationship honestly has the littlest amount of sacrificing (if any) possible. why give up who you are for someone, when there's so many other people out there that you're compatible with?

depends what context it's in. when matt comes home with new clothes (aka this weekend), i grab him and say "you're mine". it's not used possessively, it's used like "you are so damn hot, i'm really happy to be with you." he knows what i mean, and i know what he means when he uses it. if it's used with a stern tone, and the guy grabs his girl in a bar and yanks her away from her friends and says "you're mine", that's wrong and there's no love there whatsoever.

it depends on the relationship and the circumstance. if your friend tells you something in confidence, it should remain between the two of you.

no. this ties in with "giving up for the person". you need to keep you, and what you enjoy doing, and he needs to keep him and what he enjoys doing. being in a relationship should add and compliment your life, not consume it.

 

well said!!
l

 

Check out The Prophet. It says many of the same things as you, but it says them more poetically. The author, Kahlil Gibran, was Lebanese, and as such, he probably was influenced by Christian, Jewish, Islamic, and other Middle Eastern philosophies. He is well worth reading, not just on relationships, but on all aspects of life.

 

I've been in a relationship for 23 years now, 22 of them being married.

I pretty much don't even know who I am anymore.

If someone asked "who are you really" I think I'd be at a loss for words because I don't know.

 

Acting like someone else to please someone in a relationship will always, eventually, comeback to you. If you can't be yourself around the person you're with, then maybe he/she isn't the right one. There is nothing wrong with keeping a one or two secrets from your partner, as long as there is trust and, to me, that's the biggest factor in a relationship.

 

I don't act like someone else, the me that I was somehow got lost over time. It wasn't a sudden thing, it was so gradual that by the time I noticed, I was already gone. Busy being someones wife and mother and suddenly I don't know where the person I once was ended up.

 

That happens to everyone at some point. It happened to me and I wasn't even in a relationship. It's never too late to find yourself again though. After all, it's your one life

 

Thanks everyone for your responses they are very much appreciated and have helped me a great deal.

 

Awwww....too late.

 

Good advice, RC...

Beautiful words....

 

His thoughts on children and parenting are also exceptional! I don't have a copy handy.:rose::rose:

 

My mother gave me a copy of "The Prophet" when I graduated from high school...I've always cherished it. It should be read slowly and every word savored.

But you don't need a copy...only Google.

 

All relationships are a "live and learn, give and take" experience. There are going to be some things you will never compromise on and some you will, even when you don't think you're going to. It's hard to find a good balance of give and take. If one person is always taking and the other person is always giving, that's out of balance...kind of like the person who is always saying it's either my way or the highway...that's selfishness to the max and they should probably just get a dog for their long-term partner. And the one who is always giving in will eventually grow to resent it. A relationship isn't about 50/50...it's giving 100% love to your partner.

I wished I had followed this advice at times: "Sometimes asking too many questions is rude, but when it comes to romance, you really ought to know what you're getting into." and "To thine own self be true."

Writing things down of traits/qualities you want or don't want also helps to clarify what you're really looking for in a partner or what you want out of life.

 

This is actually untrue, mate.

What actually happens is that they are impervious to logic and reason, and, once they throw away that rule book, one simply cannnot win - not because of any prowess upon their part, but simply because thy stare at you and point-blank refuse to aquiesce to reason.

Frankly, it's not winning, if you merely deny the truth. there's a certain someone here who dispays the same traits - denying the truth to win an argument because once that's done there's bugger-all you can do - and woemn do the same thing.

You're never right because the only right is what they decide at any given moment... even if they know it's wrong.

 

That doesn't make sense, Babe...

 

This makes a lot of sense. In part it must be true at times. Most times I think it is because women are much more adept at sensing the emotional sequence of events. They are simply better at it than nearly all men.

To make a crude comparison, it's like a chess game where every piece moved corresponds to an emotional response. Most movements make emotional sense, they have a predictable cause and effect. Others make no sense, like when she moves the Queen. The Queen has the prerogative of making no logical or emotional sense. It just is. The reality is defined moment by moment and anything can happen. Men get the distinguished pleasure of playing this 'chess game' blindfolded and can only move when either told to or when they sense it is their turn (at their own peril I might add). LOL. In fairness, men can change the rules of the game too, but only if the conditions are right (like castling or en passant).

 

Every guy here can attest that it does.

:wall:

 

Relationships take compromise and work, obviously, but once you find yourself in the position where you must bite your tongue and not say something you would say to anyone else at work or among your friends, you have gone too far. If you find yourself giving up your friends or family to keep the person you are in a relationship with, you have gone too far. If you have to alter your basic behavior and style in order to keep that other person happy and not cause trouble, you have gone too far. If the other person calls all the shots or at the least you find yourself letting him or her decide most everything just so there is no tension caused, you have gone too far.

I say this as someone who for far too many years gave up who and what I am to please someone else. I was an idiot at great expense to my own person. You can have a great relationship with reasonable compromise and give and take with your partner, but if you find yourself holding back, cowering, and drastically altering your behavior just to please that other person, trouble will follow. Maybe not right away, but in the long run you can't not be your true self with someone and expect to be happy and permanent with that other person.

 

get a dog.rlmao.